Resolved Question: I want to know how good I am in bed compared to her past guys, how do I talk to my girlfriend/fiance about it?
Okay I have been with this girl OFFICIALLY since 01/01/08. However, we used to go out on dates and mess around and talk for like 2 years before that. Anyways, she's pregnant now and I plan on proposin to her next year. She just turned 18 today and I turned 22 on Oct. 3. We love each other very much and we're ready to get married. I am just saving up to buy her a damn good engagement ring because I think my girl deserves finest things in life. I would do it now but I ... View All
Okay I have been with this girl OFFICIALLY since 01/01/08. However, we used to go out on dates and mess around and talk for like 2 years before that. Anyways, she's pregnant now and I plan on proposin to her next year. She just turned 18 today and I turned 22 on Oct. 3. We love each other very much and we're ready to get married. I am just saving up to buy her a damn good engagement ring because I think my girl deserves finest things in life. I would do it now but I'm about to go to bootcamp for the marines and I want to do it when I come back so I can do it in my dress blues in this fancy restaurant. I have a scenario already planned out with some of the waiters that I know there. I also know manager so its all good. I trust my girl and we know each other very well. I know she would never be unfaithful to me and she knows I wouldn't to her either. I know she can wait for me, our relationship has been mostly long distance (she lives in Allentown, PA and I live in NY and NJ, I had a place in NJ n NY because of my "line of work" that I no longer take part of). I also used to live in Dominican Republic (we're both Dominicans) and she waited 5 months for me.
Anyways let me get to the point. I am a VERY self conscious person when it comes to sex. I have a high sex drive though so no one ever expects anything. I do not have the biggest penis, I'm about 5 1/2 inches sometimes 6 it depends on the situation I don't know why. I have excellent technique though, I know how to use what I have. I am VERY good at oral sex. I know how to caress a woman and make her feel good. I have even had some women tell me that they enjoy having sex with more than when they had a previous partner who had an even larger penis. One time a woman had told me that I had a small penis, and it did hurt my ego. I didn't want to have sex with her anymore but she told me that she still enjoyed sex with me more than anyone else. I asked her was it just because of her feelings for me and she said no but because I am more attentive in the bed and I know how to respond well. It still hurt my ego though, I don't know why.
So here is what I wanted to talk to my girlfriend about. I wanted to ask her how big is my penis in comparison to her previous partners. I want her to rate me in comparison to the past guys on a scale of 1-10 how good I am in bed. I want to know if she would still be interested in sex with me if she was not in love with me (meaning would I still be a turn on for her). I once told her that I wanted to get phalloplasty (penile enlargement surgery) and she asked me why with a disgusted and angry tone of voice and I said I want it bigger so I can make you feel better. She said in these words "for what your size already hurts me" but I still feel like something is missing. It might be because we always have to have sex in secret because her family is very strict so we never get to cuddle afterwards. This was weird first because with most girls I do not want to cuddle with them afterwards but because of the feelings I have for this girl I feel like I need it so that I can assure myself that
we were both satisfied with the sex. I really get more and more insecure everyday thinking about this and I don't know how to bring this up with her. Is it wrong for me to ask her about how the other guys she had sex were and for her to compare me. For some reason I want to know. I had asked her if she liked the sex and she said yes she "likes the way I do it" and she is always enthusiastic for sex and she always wants it from me (no not like a raving sex manciac lol) and I know this is a good sign but I still want to know how good I am. For some reason I want to be the best that she ever has and ever will have in bed with or without the love that we have in our relationship. I don't ever want to have the feeling that she might be thinking of someone else or that someone else was better than me. Maybe I'm selfish and too self-centered but I can't help it. Please tell me how I can start a conversation about this with her, when would be an appropiate time to bring it up and how to go
bout it. Thank you very much. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE! THANK YOU! Close All
Resolved Question: Why Americans are so Single?
Last year, the New York Times published the results of its census analysis stating that 51% of U.S. women live without a spouse. However, Sperling's BestPlaces discovered this might not be the whole story.
"The Times came to some insightful conclusions with their analysis," said Bert Sperling, lead researcher for Sperling's BestPlaces. "We made some different assumptions to more closely reflect our national lifestyle where fifteen year-old girls aren't commonly expected to get married."
The New York Times used, at that time, the latest demographics from the Census Bureau, including women above age fourteen who were ... View All
Last year, the New York Times published the results of its census analysis stating that 51% of U.S. women live without a spouse. However, Sperling's BestPlaces discovered this might not be the whole story.
"The Times came to some insightful conclusions with their analysis," said Bert Sperling, lead researcher for Sperling's BestPlaces. "We made some different assumptions to more closely reflect our national lifestyle where fifteen year-old girls aren't commonly expected to get married."
The New York Times used, at that time, the latest demographics from the Census Bureau, including women above age fourteen who were unmarried or separated. Indeed, according to a University of Texas survey, the average age of women at their first marriage is 26.
Sperling's firm looked at similar Census data, but restricted its analysis to single, widowed, and divorced women age 25-64. Without this cap on the age range, places with higher concentrations of elderly people would show a misleading number of single women.
Sperling's conclusion is significantly different than the New York Times. In the 379 metro areas nationwide, 34% of women 25-64 are single.
Despite all the attention to this new milestone for single women, the difference between the number of single men and women is not as great as one might think. Nationally, 32% of men are single.
Where do the lonely hearts live?
"As interesting as the nation as a whole is trending," Sperling said, "we want to see which places had the greatest percentage of single men and women."
Sperling's firm broke down the data by metro area, revealing interesting patterns on where singles live.
San Francisco seems to attract single people like a good pickup line, if there is such a thing. Compared to every other metro area in the U.S., the San Francisco region, which includes areas south like San Mateo and Redwood City, has the highest percentage of single people.
Detroit, with 43% singles, is second only to San Francisco. New York, and Boston round out the top four.
Most southern cities are not flush with single people. Those cities in southern states that have more singles are homes to colleges, where students might choose to remain after graduation, or are known for their nightlife. New Orleans, Austin, and a handful of Florida cities all have more singles than the national average.
"There has to be a lot going on for singles," said David Evans in a phone interview with BestPlaces. Evans is an online dating researcher based in Boston, a city that is 39% single. Evans said Boston has the key factors for single living. "It's a college town, it has nightlife, culture, and lots of jobs."
Whether by choice or circumstance, many are living in some of the biggest cities, surrounded by millions, and still find themselves alone.
The Top Ten "Solo Cities:"
RankMetro% Single
1San Francisco, CA44.7
2Detroit, MI44
3New York, NY39.8
4Boston, MA39.2
5New Orleans, LA39.1
6Los Angeles, CA37.7
7Fort Lauderdale, FL37.2
8Las Vegas, NV37
9Miami, FL36.9
10Albuquerque, NM36.8
Where are the couples?
People tend couple up more in the smaller towns, though there are big city outliers like Edison, NJ, and Nassau-Suffolk metro area in New York. Many places that view themselves as traditional boast marriage rates above the national average.
A few college cities buck the trend of having more singles. North Carolina cities, Raleigh and Charlotte--each home to a university with more than 20,000 students--are in the bottom 25% by percentage of singles.
Logan, UT, and Provo, UT, both have fewer than 20% singles, the lowest in the country. Texas cities McAllen and Laredo have similarly low numbers of single people.
Top Ten Least Single Cities
RankMetro% Single
1McAllen, TX23
2Lake County, IL25.1
3Nassau, NY26.9
4Edison, NJ28
5Poughkeepsie, NY28
6Bakersfield, CA28.3
7El Paso, TX28.4
8Allentown, PA-NJ28.4
9Salt Lake City, UT28.5
10Oxnard, CA28.5
What about that gender gap?
Bars and clubs that promote the ubiquitous "Ladies Night" might be surprised to find their city's gender gap favors the men. Since the U.S. has about 6% more single women than single men, many cities tip toward more women.
Evans said many dating events take care of any imbalance by "stocking the pond," applying a quota so the number of participants of each sex are equal.
Still, where there is an imbalance, the dating life is easier on one gender. Online dating companies are cluing into the gender gap. "All the sites are getting to where the ads are different in geographic areas," Evans said.
When advertising on TV, the radio, or the Internet, personals websites can alter the ads based on whether the city is likely to have a dearth of one gender. An effect of this, Evans said, is that people perceive that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Top 10 Gender-imbalanced Cities:
RankMetroGender gap
1McAllen, TX28% more women
2El Paso, TX27% more women
3Memphis Close All
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