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is that the right thing to do?? I was at the Aberdeen SD pig out with my cousin and the guy that i did it with said to his mom " oh look mom there's Chase." Then I said " yeah so what." Then i said "I think I'm gonna throw up" Then he looked at me and then my stomach and asked if i was pregnant and then i said "i don't know" then he said "you haven't taken a pregnancy test since we did it in April." Then his mom said "you to did it!!! When ... View All

is that the right thing to do?? I was at the Aberdeen SD pig out with my cousin and the guy that i did it with said to his mom " oh look mom there's Chase." Then I said " yeah so what." Then i said "I think I'm gonna throw up" Then he looked at me and then my stomach and asked if i was pregnant and then i said "i don't know" then he said "you haven't taken a pregnancy test since we did it in April." Then his mom said "you to did it!!! When??" Then he said "April 6th... Why?" Then i found out i was and i told my boyfriend and he said " i will always be your baby's dad no matter what happens u bring it into the world and i will always support it. Its that a good thing or a bad thing?? Close All

Many of these jokes only work in Scotland. Me, being an Englishman, can understand them as I have lived here for some time, and most are very funny. Translation service available if required. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair. "Comfy?" asks the dentist. "Govan," she replies. What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography? Oor Wullie. A guy walks into an antiques shop and says: "How much for the set of antlers?" "Two hundred quid," says the bloke behind the counter. "That's affa deer," says the guy. Did you hear ... View All

Many of these jokes only work in Scotland. Me, being an Englishman, can understand them as I have lived here for some time, and most are very funny. Translation service available if required. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair. "Comfy?" asks the dentist. "Govan," she replies. What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography? Oor Wullie. A guy walks into an antiques shop and says: "How much for the set of antlers?" "Two hundred quid," says the bloke behind the counter. "That's affa deer," says the guy. Did you hear about the fella who liked eating bricks and cement? He's awa' noo. After announcing he's getting married, a boy tells his pal he'll be wearing the kilt. "And what's the tartan?" asks his mate. "Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress," he replies. What do you call a pigeon that goes to Aviemore for its holidays? A skean dhu. How many Spanish guys does it take to change a lightbulb? Just Juan. Aman takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing. "No," argues the assistant, "look at the label - it says Taiwan ." What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and an Aberdeen sheep farmer? The Rolling Stones say: "Hey you, get off of my cloud." And an Aberdeen sheep farmer says: "Hey McLeod, get off of ma ewe." What do you call an illegitimate Scottish insect? A wee fly b*d. What about the Scotsman who lost his testicles in a motorcycle accident? The surgeon re-attached them with Bostik. While being interviewed for a job as a bus driver, a guy is asked: "What would you do if you had a rowdy passenger?" "I'd put him off at the next stop," he says. "Good. And what would you do if you couldn't get the fare?" "I'd take the first two weeks in August," he replies. Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative - "Aye right." A Glasgow man - steaming and skint - is walking down Argyle Street when he spots a guy tinkering with the engine of his car. "What's up, Jimmy?" he asks. "Piston broke," he replies. "Aye, same as masel..." Jock this was written by an English man who has lived in Scotland for years. I just copied it to give you a wee laugh, his name is Joe Bangels he is well known. So don't get upset he is a nice wee man. Close All

There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life. 'I'm fine, ' Angus said. 'But there are some really strange people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time.' 'Well, ma laddie,' says his mother ... View All

There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life. 'I'm fine, ' Angus said. 'But there are some really strange people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time.' 'Well, ma laddie,' says his mother, 'I suggest you don't associate with people like that.' 'Oh,' says Angus, 'I don't, Mam, I don't. No, I just stay inside my apartment all day and night, playing my bagpipes.' Close All

Phil called home to his wife and said "Honey, I have been asked to go fishing up in Aberdeen with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week.... this is the perfect opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box. We're leaving from the office and I'll swing by the house to pick up my things. Oh! and please pack my new blue silk pyjames." Phil's wife thinks this sounds ... View All

Phil called home to his wife and said "Honey, I have been asked to go fishing up in Aberdeen with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week.... this is the perfect opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box. We're leaving from the office and I'll swing by the house to pick up my things. Oh! and please pack my new blue silk pyjames." Phil's wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he gets home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught any fish. Phil said 'Yes! we fished two or three dams and I caught lots of rainbow trout. But why didn't you pack my blue silk pyjames like I asked you?" His wife replied "I did!! They're in your fishing box!" Never lie to a woman ;) 'Jo h' - maybe you're too young :) Close All

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